This was definitely my easiest case...
A local detective known as Cyclops Boy
will be honored by Mayor Oberton later
today for his part in recovering a dog
owned by Nobel Prize winning biologist,
Dr. Thomas Pickwick, Ph.D. The dog was
kidnapped and held for ransom by a gang
of suspected criminals who allegedly
intended to extort a large sum of money
from Pickwick who has recently received
over $1,000,000 for his work with African
The dog, Mimi, a recent gift to
Pickwick's daughter, Rosiline Able-
Pickwick, was apparently unharmed by her
captors and, as early as last night, was
seen scampering about the back yard of
the Pickwick's West Los Angeles
residence, and eating heartily out of her
very own dog dish. Detective Cyclops
Boy, who was hired by Pickwick to recover
the stolen canine, said that he was
"pleased" that he could be of assistance
to the top monkey doctor and "bring some
real creeps to justice at the same time."
The dashing detective broke the case in a
dramatic, pre-dawn diversion. Residents
of the Palisades were rudely awakened
about 5:30 a.m. yesterday by several loud
explosions. They were the result of
dozens of anti tank mines that the
kidnappers had used to protect their
hideout from unwelcome intruders.
Cyclops Boy used a sub-sonic transmitter
to detonate the mines, and temporally
incapacitate the alleged hoodlums inside
the inconspicuous, split-level, suburban
home known as "the hide out" by the gang.
"I'd developed this transmitter for just
this type of situation", said Cyclops
Boy, "these days, you have to be smarter
than the bad guys." The gang of three
men and one woman were picked up by
police a little later. The names of the
suspected gang members are being withheld
by police, pending notification of their
parents. Chief of police Dornan was
quoted as saying he has "no comment"
about the crime or today's ceremony at
the mayor's office.