CYCLOPS BOY
By the time I got to the door the phone
had stopped ringing. Standing in the
hallway was a man wearing one of the
finest hand-tailored, burnt orange,
leisure-suites that Megamart ever sold,
polyester, of course. It was too bad
that the flared pants were so long that
they only came half way down his shins,
and didn't cover his genuine, imitation
plastic, cowboy boots. To complete the
look he wore a pair of cheap Italian
movie-star sunglasses that hung over the
most ridiculous sideburns I'd seen,
outside of a used car lot. He told me
his name was George Farnsworth,... the
Third... I didn't believe him, but you
can't always judge a book by its cover,
so I let him in anyway.
FARNSWORTH
...As I was saying, that's why I'm
wearing this ridiculous outfit. So they
won't recognize me.
CYCLOPS BOY
That suite seems a little loud for a
disguise. Don't you think?
FARNSWORTH
I was speaking of these sunglasses.
CYCLOPS BOY
Oh. No one would ever recognize you.
FARNSWORTH
If I may continue. My telephone has been
tapped and I've been followed often and
I'm extremely frightened.
CYCLOPS BOY
So, let me get this straight, Farnsworth.
You're a witness in the Spiffy-Bowl
poisoning case and you're scheduled to
testify in two weeks.
FARNSWORTH
Umm, yes. That's correct.
CYCLOPS BOY
What I want to know is why your lawyers
aren't protecting you? Isn't that the
kind of thing they get the overpaid for?
FARNSWORTH
Frankly, Sir, I don't think they're up to
the job. They don't even have magazines
in their waiting room, and on top of
that, I've received death threats.
CYCLOPS BOY
So you say Farnsworth. You know, I'm
having a hard time buying this story.
FARNSWORTH
Believe it sir. I implore you. The
deviants at Spiffy-Bowl would stop at
nothing to keep me from exposing their
... sinister plans.
CYCLOPS BOY
Yeah, yeah Farnsworth, if that is your
name, You've been over that part three
times now...get to the point.
FARNSWORTH
It quite simple sir. All I want you to
do is retrieve the suitcase for me. It's
in room 606 at the Biltmore Hotel.
CYCLOPS BOY
Room 606, but you haven't told me whose
room it is yet. Whose room is it?
FARNSWORTH
That's not important. I just want you to
keep it in a safe place until the day of
the trial. It's really not much to ask
and I'll pay you handsomely.
CYCLOPS BOY
So, this suitcase you want is in a room
at the Biltmore, but you can't tell me
who the room belongs to? Come on.
FARNSWORTH
I know it sounds odd, but it was
disclosed to me in that secret
communique, Mary.
CYCLOPS BOY
Mary!? What the...?
FARNSWORTH
That's right. Mary... you know... Mary!
CYCLOPS BOY
The name's Cyclops Boy, remember. Why
are you calling me Mary?
FARNSWORTH
Mary's your code name, right? Mary?
CYCLOPS BOY
Code name? What are you talking about?
FARNSWORTH
The General said you would understand if
I called you Mary.